Jan 28, 2013 - Character, Relationships    No Comments

Finding My Place

“I’m trying really hard to get back on my feet and be the person that I know I should be and that I now want to be again. Because of my adventures I have lost many friends and relationships. I distanced myself and now I’m having a hard time getting back in with my group, I think it is mainly because I am no longer the person that I used to be. I have matured and also changed. I think I’m changing for the better, but now that I need to find a place to belong. I don’t have many friends and I want someone I can talk to. I know I need to be more positive and definitely a better person. How can I get back in with those I care about? ~Becky”

Dear Becky,

Through all the journeys, or adventures we take, we all grow in different ways. Some of us grow for the better while others of us grow for the worse. But no matter what adventures we take, all that matters is how we grow. You must find the answer in yourself, “Have I grown for the better at the end of this adventure?” and “Am I ready for the next?”

It sounds like you are growing for the better, and finding a place to belong is something that will sort itself out in time, new relationships will bloom, just keep your eye open. Becoming the person that you want to be is completely up to you. Take a step forward each day and soon you will find your footing.

I know the importance of having a person to talk to and to share life’s joys and struggles with. There is so much happiness and sadness in the world, and the feelings of others many times go unheard. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that you find a friend who’s door and ears are always open to you.

Growing apart from people is one of life’s unavoidable circumstances. But the awareness that you have of yourself and understanding of your need to grow is marvelous. You know where you are and what you need to do. Keep that with you and run with it. If the people that you have lost contact with are truly your friends they will be there for you. Let them know how you feel and that you are sincerely working at making amends. I have a good feeling you will get an unexpected response.

I will keep you in my mind daily and hope you find peace and love,
~John

Dec 14, 2012 - Uncategorized    No Comments

Newtown, Connecticut

Please take some time to reflect and acknowledge the pain and suffering that happened today, the worst school shooting in our country’s history.  Please pray for the victims and their families during this horrible tragedy.  Be watchful for opportunities and ways that you can help those in need during this time.

Thank you,
~John

Dec 7, 2012 - Mental Health, Priorities    4 Comments

Positive Thinking

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. – Zig Ziglar

Thinking positively will help give you a positive outlook on life, it will affect your attitude about yourself, and it may very well even affect your health.  So staying positive is something we all should pay close attention to.  Thinking positively means we take a step back and try to approach each situation in a more positive and efficient way. Your outlook should be “the cup is half-full” instead of half-empty.

Ask yourself this question:  How do I talk to myself?

Are your thoughts positive or negative?  What sort of logic and reason do you use when thinking about things?  Do you often have thoughts or misconceptions based on little or no information?  If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, chances are that your outlook is more likely pessimistic.

Working towards positive thinking is a step by step process and will not happen overnight, it takes time and practice.  Here are a few ideas and approaches you can use to help you become a positive thinker and develop a habit for seeing the positives.

  1. Focus on your accomplishments not your mishaps.  Many times we can get caught up in the little things that we forgot to do, or the things we fall short of.  It’s important to not let those things get in the way.  Focusing on all the positives will help you overlook the negatives.  Everyone is their own worst critic.
  2. Don’t blame yourself for upset situations.  If friends cancel plans, or if you’re not invited to a gathering. Don’t assume that you did something wrong or that people don’t want to be around you.  There is always a bigger picture and being open to the change in plans or okay with a missed opportunity will help you experience a new activity and look forward to the future.
  3. That small rock started an avalanche.  Don’t automatically anticipate the worst in things.  If you slip in the shower and bump your head, don’t automatically assume that the rest of your day will be horrible.  Take these little mishaps as they come and leave them there, don’t carry them with you.
  4. Seeing the Gray in things.  If you see the world as black and white, try mixing those together.  There is often a middle ground. Work at being more accepting of yourself and others.  Remember no one is perfect.

 

Hopefully these few ideas will help you become more optimistic and practice positive thinking. Start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.  Maybe try periodically during the day to stop and evaluate what you’re thinking.  Allow yourself to smile and laugh, especially during difficult times and find humor in everyday things.  Surround yourself with positive and supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice.

Instead of thinking “I’ve never done that before”, try “It’s an opportunity to learn something new”.  Or “It’s too complicated”  -  “I’ll tackle it from a different angle”.

“There’s no way it will work” – “I can try to make it work”
“It’s too radical a change” – “Let’s take a chance”
“No one bothers to communicate with me” – “I’ll see if I can be more open to communication”
“I’m not going to get any better at this” – “I’ll give it another try”

Practicing positive thinking every day your thoughts will contain less self-criticism and more self-acceptance. You will become less critical of the world and by having a positive mood, both you and those around you will gain an emotional boost.

~John

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