Common Courtesy

I was walking out of a bank lobby this past Saturday when I passed by an elderly woman who was stopped in the walkway of the lobby entrance wiping her feet on a door mat. To prevent drawing attention to myself I didn’t stop walking but I did take a metal note of her. I myself have never stopped to make sure my shoes were clean before entering a public building, however, I should. We should all be more aware of the world around us. It seems that my generation has lost sight of this concept.

The concept of common courtesy was once was so ingrained in our society that any action that flowed against it was considered a high offense, whether public or private. So why have we changed our perspective?

I want to encourage you to work each day at showing care and consideration not only to those people around you, but also the environments that you interact with. If you see trash on the floor stop and pick it up, hold open a door for someone, be courteous and safe in traffic, give space to people in a shopping market, help someone to their car, turn off the lights in an empty room.
Just think what the world would be like if everyone had this outlook.

~John

Mar 7, 2013 - Relationships    2 Comments

Family Relationships

“I have had problems with my family for sometime now. I have recentlly started building a better relationship with my parents but I am still having a hard time with my brother we don’t have much in common which makes it hard. Any ideas on how I could help build that relationship as well? ~Richard”

Dear Richard,

Your relationship with your parents no matter how different you’re views or beliefs might be is the most import relationship you will ever have. It’s so important to maintain and build, they know you better than you know yourself and will always have your best interest at heart.

Finding a solution to help ease the tension between you and your brother will be difficult. My suggestion is to just give it time. Make yourself available to him when he wants to spend time hanging out and be sure he knows you want to do the same.

You might have to sacrifice you’re feelings and time to do something he wants to do. But make sure that he doesn’t always get his way. Building a good relationship takes compromise.

If you want to do something else other then what he’s suggested try passively suggesting another activity. If you let him know that you understand the importance of his idea (this being the activity that he has in mind), it will be easy for you to modify the decision (or activity) without him fully knowing that you’re changing the whole scenario. Then maybe he will be open to another activity and you will be able to spend time together doing something you will enjoy as well. I understand that this could lead into an argument but if you phrase it in such a way that he knows you’re being true and not selfish then I think it will work it’s self out.
~John

Feb 28, 2013 - Mental Health    No Comments

Why am I depressed?

“I was thinking about seeing a doctor, I think that I might be clinically depressed. Sometimes I’m just sad and I can’t put a finger on why. I cry maybe ten times a week for no reason other than I’m sad. I just hurt for no reason. Nothing terrible has happened to me. I have an amazing life, and I feel guilty for hating life sometimes and I often just want it to end. Not that I have ever seriously thought about taking my own life. I really don’t, I just sometimes want life to end (if that makes sense). I’ve always been closed to my siblings and I’ve tried talking with them, but it seems like they really don’t care or they just won’t listen and they just want to lecture me. I feel trapped. ~Drake”

Dear Drake,

Your desire for life to end is a very common feeling. I myself have had that feeling more than once. But no matter how I feel the decision for life to end is not for me to decide. All I have to decide is what to do with the time that I have. No matter how alone we might feel there are always things that are positive and good. And that is an encouraging thought. We just have to be aware of them, or work at taking notice.

I’m reminded of this quote, “Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” This is how we should view time. If we spend our time in love then time becomes irrelevant. We should spend our time loving people, and loving ourselves. This way of thinking will develop in time. Just keep taking those steps each day and you will get there.

We are physical beings and because so, we have many physical trials that we must face, depression being one of those. Visiting with a doctor is a smart and healthy idea. Sometimes it’s nothing more than a slight imbalance of chemicals in your brain, which can sometimes be helped by a change in diet or exercise. But if there is something bigger going on then it’s important to know that as well.

Siblings sometimes have a way of setting aside the seriousness of our troubles. This is not because they don’t care, but that they are somewhat molded to your character. So if you’re upset a lot they might just write that off as Drake being Drake. But I’m sure if you really needed for them to listen, they will. You may have to be a little creative in the way you approach them so they know you’re serious, but they will listen. I’m sure they love you very much and probably more than you realize.

Tomorrow is a new day and you have this opportunity each day to start fresh. So take it a day at a time and you will see the light at the end of this tunnel.
~John

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