Browsing "Relationships"
Sep 21, 2012 - Relationships    11 Comments

Loss of a Relationship

Breakups can sometimes be a very difficult event to go through, especially if the relationship lasted for a long time or if you were caught off guard by the breakup. Experiencing a breakup is something everyone goes through and often times more than once. So if you find yourself at the start of a breakup I hope I can give some comfort and support to you and your feelings. It’s important to remember to trust your feelings. Your conscience can be your best friend and if you will listen you will find comfort.

When I’m in pain one of the first things I try to do is cry. It’s healthy and crying is something many people try to avoid. When you cry you are releasing grief and pain and you will feel better and will have a better understanding of your feelings in the long run. So if you feel like crying don’t hold back, let feelings out.

Another thing that can help you through this time is to stay busy. Staying busy is something that can be very beneficial during a breakup. If you find yourself having a hard time sleeping or you are waking up early in the mornings try and take a walk or exercise, maybe do something around the house (read or watch TV). It’s important that you don’t just sit in your room and think about what was. You need to give your mind a break so that your emotions and heart can heal. Try to find things that will be fun or beneficial and do them. Don’t wait for yourself to be in the right mood to doing something. Work every day at finding peace in your life. Exercising can be a very healthy and good outlet for your emotions. Maybe try meditation to relax your mind and body.

It’s also import to find some emotional support. Working through things on your own is not always a healthy approach. The support and care from others is healing, even if those people are not and don’t become close to you. Don’t spend too much time alone. Spend time with friends or meet up with someone you can talk to. You will need time alone, but if you isolate yourself from others you won’t be able to fully process your feelings or get the support you need to heal. Also don’t rush out and make a huge life change in order to avoid your feelings. With some patience and support you will feel better.

Another thing to be careful of is using another person to fill the void that is now present in your life. Trying to hide your pain by getting in a new relationship or a rebound relationship is not healthy. These short relationships can feel healing, but if you don’t process your pain correctly you will not be able to be in a fully committed relationship in the future. And when you are ready to find another relationship, take your time. Try to reach out to others who have been through breakups, especially those that now have strong successful relationships. Ask what they did to find a peace of mind.

Know that someone else will come along when the time is right. And of you correctly processed your feelings, it will be much better in the future. Working through time alone doesn’t have to be totally miserable. Remember that your life is a state of mind and even though you are hurting now. Suffering and keeping that pain close to you is a choice. Strive to let go and be happy.

~John

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