Browsing "Relationships"
Apr 16, 2013 - Relationships    No Comments

Moving on from a relationship?

When a relationship takes a turn for the worse how do we move on and let go of the connection and love we once had? Whether it’s a dear friendship or a romantic courtship, the loss of a relationship can be something that is very hard to overcome. Especially if the relationship you’ve lost is with someone who is a major part of your social circle.

My first thought would be to keep your distance from this person. Creating distance can give you as well as the other person time to grow and accept the change of the relationship. However in the means of creating distance, this can also create hard feelings and unwarranted assumptions by others. So where creating distance can be an effective approach, I advise that you be very careful and selective on choosing this method.

Another approach is to spend time more time with friends and family. These are the people who love and support you. Spending time with your friends and family will help you keep your mind away from the loss until you’re able to work through it on your own. However, you should be careful not to use your family and friends as an outlet to channel all your grief and pain. I would recommend seeing a counselor if you are having trouble processing and compartmentalizing your feelings.

One thing that has always helped me is finding a healthy hobby to enjoy. When you take time for yourself and spend time doing something you enjoy your mind has the flexibility to process and think about your feelings. It is almost similar to a form of meditation. You’re able to relax and work through your emotions in a healthy and calming way, and more importantly you can do this on your own time.

Live life to the fullest and do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Where ever you find yourself in your current relationships I hope that you find the joy in every day. Remember today is all that you have so always make the best of it.

~John

Mar 7, 2013 - Relationships    2 Comments

Family Relationships

“I have had problems with my family for sometime now. I have recentlly started building a better relationship with my parents but I am still having a hard time with my brother we don’t have much in common which makes it hard. Any ideas on how I could help build that relationship as well? ~Richard”

Dear Richard,

Your relationship with your parents no matter how different you’re views or beliefs might be is the most import relationship you will ever have. It’s so important to maintain and build, they know you better than you know yourself and will always have your best interest at heart.

Finding a solution to help ease the tension between you and your brother will be difficult. My suggestion is to just give it time. Make yourself available to him when he wants to spend time hanging out and be sure he knows you want to do the same.

You might have to sacrifice you’re feelings and time to do something he wants to do. But make sure that he doesn’t always get his way. Building a good relationship takes compromise.

If you want to do something else other then what he’s suggested try passively suggesting another activity. If you let him know that you understand the importance of his idea (this being the activity that he has in mind), it will be easy for you to modify the decision (or activity) without him fully knowing that you’re changing the whole scenario. Then maybe he will be open to another activity and you will be able to spend time together doing something you will enjoy as well. I understand that this could lead into an argument but if you phrase it in such a way that he knows you’re being true and not selfish then I think it will work it’s self out.
~John

Jan 28, 2013 - Character, Relationships    No Comments

Finding My Place

“I’m trying really hard to get back on my feet and be the person that I know I should be and that I now want to be again. Because of my adventures I have lost many friends and relationships. I distanced myself and now I’m having a hard time getting back in with my group, I think it is mainly because I am no longer the person that I used to be. I have matured and also changed. I think I’m changing for the better, but now that I need to find a place to belong. I don’t have many friends and I want someone I can talk to. I know I need to be more positive and definitely a better person. How can I get back in with those I care about? ~Becky”

Dear Becky,

Through all the journeys, or adventures we take, we all grow in different ways. Some of us grow for the better while others of us grow for the worse. But no matter what adventures we take, all that matters is how we grow. You must find the answer in yourself, “Have I grown for the better at the end of this adventure?” and “Am I ready for the next?”

It sounds like you are growing for the better, and finding a place to belong is something that will sort itself out in time, new relationships will bloom, just keep your eye open. Becoming the person that you want to be is completely up to you. Take a step forward each day and soon you will find your footing.

I know the importance of having a person to talk to and to share life’s joys and struggles with. There is so much happiness and sadness in the world, and the feelings of others many times go unheard. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that you find a friend who’s door and ears are always open to you.

Growing apart from people is one of life’s unavoidable circumstances. But the awareness that you have of yourself and understanding of your need to grow is marvelous. You know where you are and what you need to do. Keep that with you and run with it. If the people that you have lost contact with are truly your friends they will be there for you. Let them know how you feel and that you are sincerely working at making amends. I have a good feeling you will get an unexpected response.

I will keep you in my mind daily and hope you find peace and love,
~John

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